The game of matrimony: Player profile

Type 1

Simple and modern family:

Recently, I came across a couple who called themselves a “modern” family. Reality check, you don’t have a gay couple with an adopted Asian kid, and neither do you have a 30-year-old Columbian mom with a bod to die for. And second to it, you are South Indians who will hang your son to death if he even looks at a girl who is not a Bramhin.

Type 2

The highly educated boy:

The tag of an international degree is nothing more than a subtle boast of ‘I studied abroad’ and ‘I grew up amongst whiter people, who treated me like shit,’ the latter being the one you won’t say out loud. And once you finished but-load of courses in some fancy country whose name can’t be said aloud in Afghanistan, you decide to take a peek into what’s happening back home; pertinent to “are there eligible girls who will marry me at least now”.

What people fail to understand is that common sense, mannerisms, respect for the opposite sex and a good sense of humour are not subjects taught in your fancy Duke of Bramhinberg University. These you acquire over the years (you probably should have) spent with humans and not scientific experiments in the name of your elder sibling who did her M.A. M.S. P.H.S. S.S.S. in PCMB and ABCD.

Type 3

The ‘Well-to-do’ and ‘progressive’ family:

The fact that you spend your free time (which is every second before and after your 9-5 job) in front of a beautifully sculptured golden ceramic idol, thanking it for letting you believe in the fact that you can actually achieve anything you want in the whole wide world, considering which you haven’t done squat, shows that you roamed on the streets of The Uniteds blindfolded. So how about you type ‘progressive’ on to Google and then change your bio accordingly.

Type 4

Now this takes the cake. The ones looking for a ‘working and independent alliance’:

First of all, who Dafuq says alliance??

(Caution) Girls and folks of the girl, read between the lines here

  1. He wants a WIFE who will wake up freakishly early in the morning and pray with him, even though he cribs about having to follow it every night.
  2. He wants a WIFE who will keep the house clean and can scream at her when something isn’t in place, even though he pays the house maid a hefty sum.
  3. He wants a WIFE who will leave her home for him, and will change her name to take up his ugly as ever surname.
  4. He wants a WIFE who will make her job and profession a secondary commitment to ensure that ‘our house’ ‘our parents’ and ‘our children’ get good care and attention.
  5. He wants a WIFE who will leave her job to take care of his parents so he can go out on projects and assignments which require him to fill numbers into excel sheets from a specific computer only in that specific hotel room of that country.
  6. He wants a WIFE who will give up her likings for him, even though he will continue with everything he has been doing for the past 30 odd years only because his parents will not let her do as she wishes.
  7. He wants a WIFE who will make home food for him abroad, so he can tell you this is not how my amma makes it.

What did we see? What do we know? What did we learn?

Think twice before you give in to such baseless demands from characterless people who give more importance to getting their five degrees correct before you pronounce their name.


4 thoughts on “The game of matrimony: Player profile

  1. Very unfortunate, but true 😦 …. hey, but there are other people around you who have a different meaning for the word ‘marriage’ in their dictionary. May be this is because you are looking at someone who is standing in that Que with his engineering degree….just look for someone who is standing with his BA degree, because in most cases, education makes man aggressive and heartless………….I am sure that you will find your- ‘Mr Perfect’ who will treat you like a ‘queen’ and not like a ‘wife’….

  2. A good read. Perhaps, a bit caustic and judgemental but manages to portray the plastic nature of what most of south Indian brahmin marriages are; A tool for two families of similar economic and social status to form an alliance. Truly captures the essence of what the institution of marriage is; something boring, meaningless, heartless and characterless!

      1. I do commiserate with you. But I do believe it’s bit of a catch22 situation; interacting with a family who want an alliance with another family from the same caste and expecting extremely liberal moral standpoints from them. Well, I guess it’s a bit too much to ask for from a pre-internet generation. Not saying your dislike for their views is not justified, but perhaps am just playing devils advocate. At the best I was giving some constructive criticism and at worst that was just another meaningless comment on your blog.

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